Wake Me Up When You’re All Dead.

I’m at the crossroads, and I can finally see far beyond the threshold. The only thing I hear is my heart, and it sounds like a riot. I’m inspired by the challenge that I find myself standing eye to eye with. I’m so close to having the prize, and after a year trying, I’ve found a safe lifestyle. Now I display a mask of defiance because I want to be an example of tragedy turned triumph.

Confined to a society so naïve and afraid, I can feel the discontent flooding my veins, it surges through my brain, and it will not be contained. I’ve had enough of the games. I wish this planet would huff and puff, and turn all of us greedy fuckers to flames. Maybe that will cause something drastic to change. Until then we will shed blood, sweat and tears and live for a brighter day. Join a brotherhood of hope, and scream at the generations who came before us for sealing our fate, because we sure as hell aren’t to blame for the state of Mother Natures real estate.

I’m over the parade of teenage liars, caressing the cities with ego’s they struggle to keep quiet. Add to that the annual discharge of misled, yet enthusiastic lemmings, indoctrinated into chasing glimpses of a forever-changing conformist horizon. I recognise that this is the 21st Century, and that’s where we’re at, and no matter how many words I write, nothing will change the principles of a world that doesn’t learn from the facts.

I’m re-writing the odds because I’ve been told it’s not the dog in the fight, but the fight in the dog. With a soldiers composure and a heavy past hanging over his shoulder, he says, “I see an easy path straight ahead, but I’ll walk my way instead”. Fuck a syringe, I’d rather have a life worth more than Brad Pitt.

Just don’t give up, and you won’t need luck. Always endeavour to live a life that’s above and beyond average. Never let somebody try to tell you otherwise, because only you truly know what you feel inside.

Urban Thoughtfare.

Starless night skies hang over this earthly silence, the perfect enviromnent for doubts, like common earthly violence, to stab inside my head. I’ll never understand. No, I just don’t understand why I still feel like such a failed man.

“This is the way it goes, sometimes your flush, sometimes your bust, and when you’re up it’s never as good as it seems, and when you’re down you never think you’re gonna be up again. But life goes on. Remember that”

Watching chances getting devoured every hour. Stubborn, wearing the same frowns, a lifeless rhythm in this suburban living, need driven, democratically run prison. Propelled through all this madness, finally accepting I’ll be doing this without anyone by my side. I’ll never change or disengage, till I’ve finished what I’ve started. And wherever life leads me, no one else, but me, will fulfill my dreams unconditionally.

Somebody asked me, the beauty in life, where’s it gone? I thought we were doing okay, but somehow, somewhere I can see I got it all wrong. Isolation, now that’s a lonely thought. Vanity, a sobering thought. My face in this mirror, so pale it could crack. Desperately faded, not sure on what it lacks.

Drank like lost souls, smoked like fires, for too many years. Time to get straight ‘cause teenagehood cripples those who ignore too many fears. There’s a dark ocean between where I am and where I want to be. In doubt, some pray, but no matter how far you dig, or how far you reach, there isn’t going to be any holy interference. Only the daily grind and a quick ride in a hearse. I’m not afraid of being afraid, I’ll cross this ocean and find contentments shade.
 
I will never stop searching, and I will never stop waiting, because I can’t imagine continuing without doing what I’ve done. You can all carry the secrets, and I’ll carry the weight. I’ve been waiting for this to end for so fucking long.

I’ll compromise anything, if I see it bringing harm to me. People, problems, regrets, letting them slip through my hands. My mouth spits trash and I know it, so why do I keep getting told that I’m a poet? It’s a curious script, this love shit. Life and death, that’s all that’s worth my ink.

Here’s the number to my therapist, give ‘em a call and tell them all your problems, he’s fucking awesome at  listening. It’s time to bail on this doomed mission.

Free Yourself.

Falling every which way, rushing to and fro, the crowds jostle past, and nothing ever seems to slow. Heavy headed, it’s as if this shit is just a game. A tug of war, something I must lose interest in when you don’t feel like playing anymore. But I’m still holding on, feeling like a lost cause, because I don’t feel as though anyone understands where I’m coming from. Fuck myself off because of the defeated mode rejection puts me in. I’m caught in the grip of the city.

Opposite or positive, to life you must be faithful. It’s like, why should I hate you when we ain’t that different? We may act different in some ways, but we still group together, like trends are an illustration of our true traits. Fuck them all is the motto, teenagers are imbibed with, when their feelings leave them wallowing in sorrow. One day we will realise that’s what happens when the people you follow are hollow. Dig a little deeper and you’ll feel that were not free, because there is no freedom in hearts full of greed. These are the years when every warning or lesson is hard to heed, and it’s easier to follow than lead.

Peers jeer and clown, but don’t let your head fall, because when your six-foot down no one remembers those who didn’t make a sound. Simple minded people always point the finger, and pretend that if our lives were their own, there would be a change in the bad luck that seems to loyally linger. All paths have intersections, just like everyone’s minds harbour misconceptions. Many rules and regulations keep our nature to explore tied to the floor, but in every moment, in every person, and in every life, there’s something worth fighting for.

It doesn’t matter who it is or where they seem to think they’re from, we’re all a victim of the love we create, always convincing ourselves it’s real and strong. Something we never learn from. Locked on to an ideology that all we currently see and hear must make us smile and feel free, but it’s these thoughts that are the fire, burning all that we should believe, all that we could be.

Sucking on stolen Marlboro’s, walking the streets, my mind is running from the days I don’t know if I can ever escape. Observing the world and what’s occurring. I visited the city of contentment and can’t seem to return there. Makes me question if I ever really was there? When I’m mad and sad, it means I have held something back for too long. It grew strong and the feeling followed its own will. Deep down I want to be my old man’s son, make him proud of what I have done, and not live a life taking pride in what I had no hand in. For better or worse, I must let it go, because the next day, I’m still seen as another face on the bus ride home. I’m glad I appreciate life because it’s easy to see the pain and strife and end it all tonight.